Improve your English and see life change. Do you want to improve your English? Then start with changing how you talk about yourself. Do you have what it takes to change?
We all talk change. Everyone spouts promises of lost weight, new relationships, or improved careers while rarely, if ever, making it happen. What goes wrong?
Let’s take a quick look to try to figure that out.
First we try to change because we want to improve. We try to change to survive. Bad habits stress physical and mental health so we try to fix them by taking half-hearted attempts at improvement.
So we stop smoking or lose a few pounds. People notice us for a day or two then it’s back to the same old words as we mutter, “Oh well, I tried.”
My book, Seeking Balance: The ultimate guide to English-speaking excellence for the shy, foreign, or frustrated, talks about how you try to improve your English but for the wrong reasons.
“People around the world spend billions of dollars, pounds, euros, and other currencies on attempting to change. Sadly, most never succeed. The pursuit of others’ approval rather than striving for personal excellence tops the list for reasons for the failure.
Real lasting change comes from pursuing excellence, being the best you can be. You don’t need others to tell you that you put in the work.
Pursue attention by losing a few pounds or getting a new haircut and all say how great you look. But when the pounds return or the hair grows back nothing is said. You had your moment in the sun now it’s back to reality. No real change took place.
Success by seeking others’ approval never lasts. True change only takes place when you change for you.”
Yes, true change requires us to start talking a different language. When it comes to change, it’s ALL about you and the words that come out of your mouth.
A second ”it’s all about you” challenge pops up when you succeed. Friends and family now have to accept the new you. Don’t expect others to go along peacefully for the ride.
The art of transitioning from one life to another one jars existing relationships. Change jobs, stop drinking, or lose weight mean relationships change as well because you start using a new improved English language to describe you.
I moved from the U.S. to Wuhan, China six years ago to teach at a university. The change did me a lot of good but was a challenge for me and my family and friends as we questioned my sanity. Here’s two points I learned regarding my upheaval.
Improve your English and change
- Be open– We change but no one knows why. Friends or family may not understand the reasoning for the change. Let people know what you need…..space, time, friendship, or professional help. Bottling things inside as you create your new world never helps anyone so don’t try to be a hero. Be open and honest with your emotions.
- Don’t blame others– Change often means loss. Someone moves away, jobs change, old habits disappear, or relationships dissolve. Don’t blame others for your new life but accept the responsibility. If you’re changing for you then acknowledge to them that “it’s not about you but about me.”
Yes change requires a new ways to talk. You can do it but it isn’t easy. Change requires:
- Belief you can do it
- Belief that it’s good for you
- Belief that the change is about you, not others
- Belief that your work will pay off in tangible benefits
Real change is deeply personal. Excellence comes by focusing on you, not how others respond. The drive, the will, the “want to” improve your English starts and ends with you.
If you attack change as a personal challenge and start using the right words to describe it, then a better you will follow and your true friends will not begrudge that outcome.
The book, Seeking Balance, can be found on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, iTunes, and KOBO.
